The Lane Kiffin saga: Ole Miss edition 

Where do I even start with this? Lane Kiffin has a history of disgraceful exits, but his exodus from Oxford takes the cake for his most dramatic. First, let’s look at those previous exits. We start in 2008, when he was the head coach of the Oakland Raiders, which went so poorly that Al Davis made a PowerPoint presentation outlining every reason he fired him. Then we go to 2009, with his infamous exit from Tennessee after just one season for USC, something the Vols faithful still hold against him. What happened at USC? A few years after being hired, he got fired immediately after stepping off the team plane after a 3-2 start. That isn’t an exaggeration; he literally got fired at the airport. Then he moves on to an OC position at Alabama under Nick Saban. In 2017, he decided to leave to become the head coach at FAU, but Lane wanted to still be the OC for the playoffs. Nick Saban wisely told him no and picked the current Texas coach, Steve Sarkisian. After a successful stint at FAU, we end up where we are now, with his departure from Ole Miss. Kiffin was expected to make his decision on Saturday. Now, two non-Kiffin people are important to this story. 1 is ESPN reporter Marty Smith, who went out to Oxford to live report, expecting a quick resolution. #2 is On3 reporter Ben Garrett, with whom Kiffin argued after the Egg Bowl, relating to a quote that I can’t use on a school website, which Garrett used to describe Kiffin. Anyways, the 12:00 slate goes by, and nothing. That’s alright, maybe he didn’t want to crash the Big Game. 3:30? Nothing. 7:30? Still nothing, but at least this slate is joined by rumours that Kiffin wanted to see if Alabama lost the Iron Bowl so he could take DeBoer’s job. Our friend Marty Smith is still in Oxford at nearly midnight when he texts Lane asking, “Will there be a resolution tonight? Please God in Heaven, tell me yes.” Kiffin ghosts him. The next day, we finally get the announcement that Kiffin is going to Baton Rouge, and chaos ensues. Lane wants to coach the playoffs, but Ole Miss took the Saban approach and told him to just get on the plane. Fortunately, Marty Smith drove around a fire department blockade to reach him and finally get his hard-earned interview. Thank you, Marty! Ben Garrett’s reputation with the Ole Miss faithful has done a complete 180. He’s gone from being mocked to the saying he used becoming the unofficial slogan for Kiffin. Then, Lane arrives at his private jet, just to be relentlessly booed and given the finger by a crowd of Ole Miss fans. However, the most shocking revelation was yet to come. A huge part of Kiffin’s Ole Miss tenure was accompanied by his dog, Juice. Juice pretty much became Ole Miss’s mascot, which is an improvement from what they’re currently working with, but that’s besides the point. The dog even had a Twitter account named Juice Kiffin. Then, in a shocking twist, we find out that JUICE ISN’T LANE KIFFIN’S DOG. He belongs to a trainer in Oxford, and has never lived with Lane. This man faked having a pet dog. I’d like to call Kiffin a less murderous Brian Kelly, but that’d be a bit disrespectful, considering Lane is actually a good coach, but there’s something we’re forgetting. LSU travels to Oxford next season. That’s gonna be must-see TV we haven’t gotten since LeBron’s return to Cleveland.

Delaware and Missouri State break the dumbest rule in College football.

The two newest FBS teams this season were the Delaware Blue Hens and the Missouri State Bears. Both crossed the 6-win threshold required to qualify for a bowl game. Unfortunately, the NCAA has a rule in place that teams can’t play bowl games in their first FBS season. It’s a stupid rule that punishes schools and athletes for no reason at all, but luckily for these two programs, this season was a rare exception. The rule states that if there aren’t enough qualifying teams, 1st-year FBS programs can be selected, and this year happens to be one of those years. Congrats, Delaware and Missouri State! 

Umass

I didn’t want to waste words on these guys, but it’s worth acknowledging that they might just be the worst team ever.

Penn State vs The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and Crumbl Cookies 

When I started writing about a year ago, I didn’t expect to be talking about Mormons, but College Football is wild. What am I talking about? Well, if you didn’t guess, it involves BYU. The coachless Penn State Nittany Lions were expected to hire BYU coach Kalani Sitake, and it was pretty much a “done deal”. Then Jason McGowan, CEO of Crumbl Cookie, stepped in. He’s a huge BYU donor, and he got involved as soon as word that Sitake was leaving. Kalani decided to stay, and BYU successfully fended off a College Football powerhouse. But let’s get into that. What on earth is Penn State doing? They’ve waited far too long to hire a coach, and their recruiting class has suffered for it. Their On3 recruiting score at the time of writing is 73.421, landing them with the 141st best recruiting class in the nation. There are 136 FBS teams. They’re ranked below Temple AND Pitt. And what was their genius idea to turn it around? They tried to get a Latter-day Saint to leave BYU. Now that I think about it, I forgot to mention another team with a better recruiting class than theirs. The James Franklin-led Virginia Tech Hokies land over 15 points above them in the rankings, surging after their hire of Franklin. As a bit of a joke at the expense of the Nittany Lions, the Virginia Tech early signing party served Crumbl Cookie. How the mighty have fallen.

Vanderbilt just flipped a 5-star QB from Georgia.

What on God’s green earth is this sentence?. When Rivals originally reported the flip, Jared Curtis responded by denying that he’d made a decision. In reality, he was just frustrated that his big surprise was spoiled, because a few hours later, he posted his announcement that he was going to Vandy. Could you imagine hearing this sentence in 2023 after the Commodores went 2-10 and Georgia finished the season #6 in the CFP poll and #4 in the AP poll.

Conference Championship Week top 5

Week 13 picks: 5-0! Better late than never, I guess

1. Ohio State vs Indiana

I’m not SECspn, so #1 vs #2 is an easy pick for me. As much as I’d love Indiana to shut up the doubters, I can’t see anyone stopping Ohio State right now.

My pick: Ohio State

1. Alabama vs Georgia

I was shocked to find out this is only their 5th SEC championship matchup since I was born, because it feels like it’s been every single year.

My pick: Georgia 

1. BYU vs Texas Tech

BYU needing to win this game to get in is ridiculous, especially when you see that they have a better resume than Texas A&M.

My pick: Texas Tech

1. Villanova @ Lehigh

PSAC FOOTBALL. Unfortunately, I don’t see Villanova pulling this off, but we’re winning the Big East this year, so it’s fine.

My pick: Lehigh 

1. North Texas vs Tulane

UNT’s magical run won’t end here.

My pick: North Texas