According to the American Political Science Review, when outnumbered, women speak up to 75% less than men in group settings. Historically, women have been forcibly quiter when it comes to business and decision making than men have been. According to studies, this is due to stereotypes, mansplaining, and being outnumbered in male-dominated groups. According to Jessica Preece, an associate professor of political science at BYU, “Women are systematically seen as less authoritative. And their influence is systematically lower. And they’re speaking less. And when they’re speaking up, they’re not being listened to as much, and they are being interrupted more.” However, while women are more prone to staying quiet, this article is for anyone who feels they can never assert themselves in conversation. So what can we do to change society so that all voices are heard, and no one takes a backseat to the limited perspective of one group?
First, when you disagree with someone or something, raise your hand and say what you think. Don’t let other people drown out your voice. It’s easy in a crowd of clambering voices to go unheard, especially in passionate discussions. Wait for a pause in the conversation, then voice your opinion. It’s just as important to listen as it is to speak. If someone speaks over you, say, “Excuse me, I’m speaking.” If they continue, say “excuse me” a few more times, then let them finish. Once they are done, point out that they interrupted you and continue with what you were going to say. Asserting yourself and letting the group know that you aren’t a pushover ensures they recognize that your voice is just as important and that what you say should be treated with the same respect as others’.
When conversing with someone, it’s important to remember that you deserve the same respect you give. I had an experience with someone who I felt wasn’t giving me the same respect I was giving them. So I did the following things. First, I decided to give them a grace period. Sometimes people are going through personal issues, and it’s important to put yourself in their shoes and see their perspective. If, after a little while, they don’t stop being disrespectful, it’s time to communicate with them. You could write them an email or text message letting them know how you feel, or you could confront them. I suggest first writing and then confronting them. They may not even know they are being rude. If, after a while, they continue to disrespect you, either tell someone you trust or distance yourself from the person. Obviously, someone can’t be your friend if they don’t show you kindness and respect, so find another person to be your support system. I think it’s an important message that you can choose how you respond to situations. It’s probably one of the most powerful tools at your disposal. So remember, you deserve more. You, as a powerful, smart, amazing person, deserve to be talking to someone who shows you kindness, not someone who holds no respect for you. So do yourself a favor and show yourself respect.
Sometimes it’s easier to let other people talk and make decisions, but imagine what it would feel like to put yourself out there and become the decision maker. You are capable of speaking up and putting your voice into the world. If you don’t advocate for yourself, then who will?
