The other day in economics class, I learned about this fine fellow. I’m not sure how well-known he is, but I had never heard of him so I’m assuming others are in the same boat. Even if there’s just one person out there who’s never heard of this guy, I feel an obligation to enlighten them. 

This is Roger. He’s a 6’7, 200-pound kangaroo from a wildlife reserve in Australia. He was rescued by the reserve as a baby, found sitting on the side of a highway inside the pouch of his dead mom (which is actually really sad…). Due to a foot injury, he wasn’t able to be released back into the wild, so the reserve took him into its care. Thankfully, Roger rebounded from his tragic upbringing and grew up to be an absolute UNIT. In fact, his physique is so impressive that, like many professional human bodybuilders, many have questioned whether he is “natty [natural] or not”, with some even going as far as to say that he’s faked/photoshopped. However, it is clear that Roger is the real deal. Many major news outlets have reported on him, so there’s plenty of live footage of him hopping around.

In one of his most famous shots, Roger’s incredible vascularity and muscle tone are on full display. These are biceps that quite literally have crushed metal (see title image).

This next shot gives a glorious view of Roger’s defined six-pack. Did I think that it was possible for kangaroos to have six-packs up until this point? No. Our friend Roger is clearly built differently.

The next shot of Roger is a screenshot that I took while watching a National Geographic documentary on him. Now, by no means do I intend to downplay Roger’s exquisite build. However, it is essential to take into account how much the lighting and camera angles of Roger’s pictures affect the way that he looks. It’s understandable why one would question the previous two images, but this one looks like a picture of a decently normal kangaroo. 

Why does Roger need these mega-muscles? The answer is largely evolution-based. Male kangaroos compete for female kangaroos by hug-wrestling each other. Roger’s strength is essential for him to win over and protect what the National Geographic narrator terms his “Harem of female kangaroos”. When Roger sees his owner Brolga every day, he aggressively (and cutely) hops after him because he sees Brolga as a threat and has to assert his authority. Often, the only way to get Roger to go into his barn at night is for Brolga to lure Roger in, which realistically looks like Brolga running for his life while a massive kangaroo chases him. Brolga has even sustained some serious injuries from Roger, such as scratches on his back from one of Roger’s “hugs” and a knee injury obtained during one of his chase sequences. 

However, it is well-noted that Roger also has somewhat of a soft side. As Roger has aged, his temperament has shifted and he’s become softer. His similarly massive son has become the alpha male of the kangaroo pack, and Roger has befriended his caretaker Brolga, who refers to Roger (he pronounces it more like raw-juh) as his “best mate”.

Here’s a picture of the two of them looking friendly together. 

Now, I have a confession to make. I’ve been writing this entire article in the present tense, but unfortunately our dear friend Roger is no longer with us. He passed away in 2018 due to natural causes. Roger’s vibrant life has inspired Brolga to now lead the largest kangaroo sanctuary in Australia, where Roger is currently buried. He may be gone, but this gigachad kangaroo will forever live on in our hearts.