Here at Abington Senior High School, there are two veteran social studies teachers with remarkable similarities, including their affinity for dad jokes: Mr. Garry and Mr. Banks. The two are both faculty sponsors for the Student Council and even have rooms directly across from each other in the A-Wing. However, while Mr. Garry teaches Honors Civics, AP US Government and Politics, and Social Studies Gifted Seminar, Mr. Banks teaches Honors American History, AP US History, and AP Human Geography. But even with these minute differences, many of my fellow peers report the uncanny semblances between these two teachers. And so, I decided to conduct an informal interview to test my hypothesis that they are in fact, the same person in different fonts. These interviews were held separately, but the teachers were asked the same questions. Here are their responses:

Q: Where would you rather be right now?

Mr. Garry: On a beach.

Mr. Banks: No place I’d rather be; but umm, I wouldn’t mind being at the beach.

Q: Best ice cream flavor?

Mr. Garry: Coffee

Mr. Banks: Not mint chocolate chip because I actually have taste, ummmm do I have one… mocha (coffee) chocolate chip.

Q: Do you consider social studies to be more social or studies?

Mr. Garry: Social, because it’s more about discussion and interaction.

Mr. Banks: Social, because you’re talking about stuff half the time.

Q: Favorite color?

Mr. Garry: Red.

Mr. Banks: Blue.

Q: What color is social studies?

Mr. Garry: Hmm, I have to think about this one. Yellow, it’s a happy color.

Mr. Banks: (pondering) Blue.

Q: Which time period in the US would you want to live and die in?

Mr. Garry: Live in and die? Ok, the 1950’s because I don’t know; it sounds like a cool time.

Mr. Banks: Do I have to live in it and die in it? 1920’s.

Q: Do you like your name?

Mr. Garry: Yes, because it’s my name!

Mr. Banks: Yeah, because it is potentially a sentence (rob banks).

Q (follow up to Mr. Banks’ response): If you weren’t a teacher would you consider robbing banks?

Mr. Banks: Sure

Q: What was your dream profession and why did you change it?

Mr. Garry: This is my dream profession, and I didn’t change it. Wait actually, it’d be a basketball player, but I wasn’t tall enough.

Mr. Banks: Meteorologist, but I suck at math. You know, one of those storm chasers and reporting live at the situation. I should consider reporting the weather before every class. But actually, this job, teaching, was also up there.

Q: If you had a boat, what would you name it?

Mr. Garry: Uhhh, hmmm, Retirement.

Mr. Banks: The Ship of State, very American History, people will get it (smirks).

Q: Do you think you’re funny?

Mr. Garry: Absolutely.

Mr. Banks: I think I am hilarious in a sly way; my kids think I’m an idiot. I’m funny, but not in that dumb, jester way; I am sly.

Q: What are your thoughts on Mr. Banks?

Mr. Garry: (without hesitation) He is an angry, bitter, jealous man.

Q: What are your thoughts on Mr. Garry?

Mr. Banks: What did he say about me for this one? … From what I hear, he’s a decent teacher… Am I taking the high road here? He’s got adequate humor.

Interviewer: Be honest.

Mr. Banks: He is… pretentious, and he probably can’t spell that either.

Total Tally of Similar Responses: 6.5/11 (half points rewarded based on halfway similar responses)

From these results, it can be concluded that Mr. Garry and Mr. Banks are 59% similar! Although, their responses also reveal that they are certainly not the same person and are interesting in their own, unique ways. Hopefully, in the near future they both can enjoy a day at the beach eating coffee ice cream, or perhaps even rob banks together!

Stay tuned for the next Interview Investigation at our very own Abington Senior High!